I have been denied disability. I am not surprised. In fact, I said all along I expected it. I knew I would have to file an appeal. But that doesn't mean I am happy about it. A small part of me really hoped it would be over.

Oh well.

Adderal Power!

Couple updates.

On the 27th I had the first appointment with my new psychiatrist. Not 100% sure about him yet. First of all, he is foreign. He has a thick accent and at times I had trouble understanding him. I don't really care where he's from so long as he knows what he's talking about. But at the same time I wish I would have been able to choose who I was going to see.

We went over everything, which was hard because I basically had to explain eight months of hard work I had done with my previous pdoc in thirty minutes. Something that annoyed me was that he seemed to question a lot of things. Like whether or not I was bipolar, etc etc. He was worried that my manic episodes were drug-induced from antidepressants. But I tried to explain to him that I wasn't always on medication and when I wasn't I still had the same problems.

I brought up the ADHD thing like I had planned. I explained that my former pdoc and I had talked about Adderal and other medications and that we just never got around to working on it. He seemed hesitant, which I hate. I know Adderal is like a class II controlled substance and I'd hate to believe that he thought I was just seeking a fix or something. Another shitty part about having to switch doctors is I have lost that trust I had with the previous pdoc. With Dr. Kanovitz I had a certain amount of control over what I was taking. With Dr. Saeed, I don't know if I will have that.

Anyway, moving on.

Today I had an appointment with my primary doctor to look at a weird mole. Turns out it is fine, just large and weird looking. But while I was there I brought up the whole mess and explained the situation. He wrote me a script for Adderal. That's the trust I'm talking about. He knows me. He knows I'm not just seeking drugs. So he wrote it for me.

Of course now I'm worried it's going to turn me into a spaz!